Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the pirate queen's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, June 13th, 2001
4:04 pm	lots is new. i suppose its been awhile since i've written, hasnt it? went to the doctor, guess what guys? looks like i might have chlamydia what did i DO to deserve this? i dont sleep around. i use condoms when i do have sex. i guess i'm publicizing this to make a point: you dont have to be a whore to get an STD. lots of people have them, so watch the fuck out. yeah, and i guess that will get rid of any potential suitors too. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. gross: it hurts to pee, they shoved a tube up my peehole and i cried alot. NEVER AGAIN. NO TUBES. my god that was unimaginable pain. what the HELL? they knew that part of me was messed up, WHY WOULD THEY SHOVE A TUBE UP IT? Current Mood: unclean and a social outcaste Current Music: radiohead amnesiac (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 2nd, 2001
1:48 am	late at night... went to the woods with aaron and mike today, then to a movie with them and kevin. crouching tiger is still an amazing movie, and i listened to the music alot more this time. good stuff. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. Current Music: prince. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2001
2:03 am	uggghhh very tired work tomorrow. ugh. i sneaked into a pool tonight with brad and justin. hottub was cold. fucking hell. and it may have infected my nipple ring. we shall see. brad said something about how his bonzai tree i gave him had died. sad because it was somewhat of a metaphor for our friendship. so i dug up a baby maple tree in the backyard and put it in a pot for him. he didnt seem to appreciate it, but i feel better. graduated today from fort hayes. everyone i might miss i will certainly see over the summer, so its not a big deal at all. we ate dinner at haiku. i must go back there and eat more, until i explode with good food. it'll all be worth it in the end. tomorrow is phils birthday... should i get him something? i dont know. yeah, as you can see i have next to nothign to say. i ought to go to bed, my eyes are itchy from that stupid cat. it bit my toe. repeatedly. i am still really psyched about seeing jeff. and somewhat psyched about seeing the lack and the need, now that victor will go with me. damn those tickets for being expensive. damn my minimum wage job. and why did i freak out about all my crappy clothes tonight? i had to dress up, and i had absolutely nothing nice. my clothes are all trashy, because thats what i wear, and i have no money/desire to own anything nice... goddamnit so why do i complain when i get into situations like this? time to go back to VOA. enough. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: digable planets (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 31st, 2001
12:54 am	poop things are closing in EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. shenanigans. i like that word. i feel evil... did i do something wrong? i dont know. i still dont want to talk about it on here. this is for me, not anyone else, so i feel no need to explain myself. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. today. cried. too much. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. christ i need to figure some things out, its like i'm in limbo here (read dantes inferno, fuckers) i need to make a decision i owe that to everyone and myself. fuck. i hate everything. except worms armageddon my god that game is horribly addictive. and jeff. jeff i miss you, take me back to boston with you. exit. Current Mood: indecisive Current Music: that fucking canncan playing on the radio can go fuck itself (Comment on this)
Monday, May 28th, 2001
1:37 am	disaster strikes. (as in disaster striking my journal, not the goddamn band.) my journal is so shallow... this is embarressing. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
1:19 am	teenage soap operas? mmm something is eating at me, what is it? i'm not wholy content and i am not sure why. i have a couple educated guesses, but still... arrgh! EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. vegan-boy changed his tune and keeps asking me on dates. fool! i'll cook him for dinner. i am avoiding my english paper like the plague, i'm sure that is bothering me as well. i just dont know what to do! i want to be truthful for once and not bullshit my way through it. and i cant see a way to do that with this stupid assignment. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. more later, hopefully on more interesting topics. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: minor threat (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 27th, 2001
12:32 pm	hmmmm... more vegan horrors. sigh. i read on my medicine bottle that i'm supposed to avoid exposure to sunlight. like stay inside and wear longsleeves. crappy!!! taking medicine blows. cocoa pebbles rock. i just had a bowl (with lots of MILK. COW MILK FROM COWS) but more importantly, they were chocolaty. so important. my mind is tangled up in idiotic teenage situations. i really need to grow the fuck up! vegan boy is being nice. ...setting a trap perhaps? small talk... Current Mood: confused Current Music: the radio. (Comment on this)
3:37 am	CANNIBALISM. there is a butthole vegan kid that continues to make me feel like shit for not being vegan. he tells me i am worthlesss and can do nothing to help the planet, everythign i do is negated by the fact that i am not vegan. please tell me he is wrong?! i know i am a good person, and the work i do has accomplished alot in the world, and every little thing helps. i want to fry the fucker in his own fat and eat him. moving right along... i had the most wonderful time tonight with aaron and matt at aarons grandparents house. they are so fucking rich!!!! steinway piano, indoor pool. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. momento is SUCH a good movie. more later. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. i know i'm forgetting something. oh yeah. gotta call jordan. i miss the boy! Current Mood: cannibalistic. Current Music: crass (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 24th, 2001
9:43 pm	passing leighs mom died last night. i dont know what to say i feel horrible and so sad and i know leigh feels even worse.... god so many things run through my mind, why lisa, why now, why anythign? leigh doesnt deserve this, i hope she knows that i love her dearly, regardless of all the shit we've gone through together. i really broke down when i saw sweet glenn crying so hard, ugly harsh tears that must have hurt to come out. we held eachother there in the oval in the rain and cried and cried. jesus fucking christ i still cant believe it, understand it. i cant possibly comprehend this, how can lisa be dead, lisa who i've known for so long? my mom collapsed on the floor sortof, she slid down the wall crying i didnt know what to do. i cried later. i'm sorry leigh i love you dearly and lisa i will miss you and be thinking of you, you were such a good mother and wonderful amazing person, a strong person. everythign else in my life right now seems so irrelevant. Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: chopin nocturnes (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2001
11:51 pm	hi journal. i put my bro's music list on random, i'm hearing some pretty scary shit. i cut my hair. wow it was long. i know this sounds irrelevant, but i'm hoping that if i look back on this crappy statements i can connect them with deeper memories from the day, images i dont know how to describe. when did i last write? EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. me and brad made dinner, fish (yes, FISH! an ANIMAL!) with peach sauce. it was fuckin awesome. i feel kindof ugly with this hair, like i have to dress sexy to compensate or something? for shame. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. and again i still dont know who, if anyone, reads this. i'm listening to wynton marsalis. am i shallow for not being in the mood for jazz? wanting to hear some trashy rock instead? fuck it. back to bad religion. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. beauty and NO SCHOOL! i did the main part of my idiotic english project, all thats left is pissy photography crap and maybe music. ahahahah. perhaps i should take another shower, seems to help the belly button piercings. what do nick and shawn think of me and brad always being in their piercing store? i dont know... do they laugh when we leave? they remember us. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. enough for now. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: zach's rotation list....shudder.... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 20th, 2001
10:44 pm	sunday nights i'm dreading school but it seems i have a gig tomorrow morn, so i will only have to go for the afternoon. i still am wary about writing my deepest secrets, whatever they are, on this public piece of crap. i'll just say that this coming week is looking good. my garden continues to grow, i thinned the radishes today. brad got a beautiful kitten! very tiny. when brad and i talk the kitten gets jealous and starts batting at us and crying. it is so adorable, i let it sleep on my chest regardless of my allergies. this is weird i have writers block but there is so much on my mind! i guess i just dont know who will read this. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter.. we shot roman candles out the car window. i got burnt. thats all for now, i'm hungry! Current Mood: excited Current Music: seraphim (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 13th, 2001
12:36 pm	sunday mornings i skipped church- general lack of interest i suppose. cleaned my room a little for mothers day. my mom will like that more than any card. my radishes are growing but i'm a little nervous about the rest of the garden... but i should give it a couple days, some seeds sprout quicker than others. (bad grammar...) EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. i went to the park on saturday with ben looking for snakes. no luck but i got a picture of a blue heron with my super sweet new camera lens. if only i hadnt left my camera in elenas car. we made some sweet music to with fruityloops, took some samples from a leonin piece and used a piazolla bassline. i think i'm going to play piano over that and ben will do drums. we will rock the battle of the bands. which reminds me, the flotation walls have a show on friday! EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. the band is so much fun, i hope carlos realizes that i am putting my heart and soul into it, even if i cant practice at midnight on school nights. the radio is playing crap. did i mention i saw limp wrist on tuesday? FUCKING SWEET!!!!!! i love martin, i love all the band, i love the friendlyness of the show. i talked to this kid scottie about it at the coffee table last night. seems theres another sweet show coming up in june, with the locust! why do some people hate the locust so much? enlighten me please. my nipples itch, but the piercings seem to be healing nicely. how long till i can do my bellybutton? i dont want my body to have too much to handle. went to a party last night. chris fortney is a tool but hes very nice. everyone in the world seemed to be there it was pretty weird. i wish i could have stayed later. was i the only one there not drinking/smoking? well i'm off to ben's to make some more sweet music. bringing over my limp wrist seven inch. Current Mood: creative Current Music: steve reich- different trains (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 11th, 2001
12:20 am	i am feeling a little better. a tiny bit. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. i got my nipples pierced. it seemed like all my emmotional pain manifested itself in this physical action that causes physical pain so when i felt the needle i felt all of the sorrow EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: weezer, only in dreams (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 10th, 2001
12:26 am	its my 18th birthday (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 6th, 2001
2:00 am	vegans ahoy-hoy yeah so i met this crazy kid he wont talk to me online because i am not vegan, thus, i dont want to "save the world" fuck that. i care so much about the way this little planet is doing. he doesnt know me! so although i dont meet his standards, i did play in my friend's cabaret tonight, we raised 700$ for the AIDS Task Force. i'm goign on the AIDS Walk tomorrow. i'm kind of scared. i dont want to see people that are so sick, that remind me of my uncle while he was dying. i know thats rather rude and idiotic of me, i guess i just dont... i dont knwo, i dont want to remember my uncle right now, realize how much i miss him. love him. so there was this act in the cabaret where a bunch of girls were dressed all hooker-like. EDIT. passage removed due to personal subject matter. i wish that kiddo - the vegan, could meet my friend jeff. jeff the super-vegan, who loves me and all the dairy products that come with me. jeff is big and strong he would roll the guy into a tiny ball and go bowling with him. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: hot water music (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2001
3:15 pm	mmmmm okay day i'vebeen feeling shitty lately, my mom wants me to take more lithium, so she can have a quieter more content daughter. i'm tired of taking these drugs! my hands shake i gain weight and i'm NOT myself. we fought alot about that. i took huge test today in english it was 3 hours long, seriously. i hate having to be careful about what i eat! i want to go off this drug so i can have all these lovely unhealthy foods!fuck cereal and vegetables, give me cake, give me candy and nachos and chips. someone is IMing me and calling me Beautiful, who is it!!? Current Mood: curious Current Music: rancid's new album (Comment on this)
Friday, April 27th, 2001
4:39 pm	hi hi hi this uu girl wrote me about weezer. rocks my world because i had forgotten this damn journal existed, 'specially after my computer like killed itself and deleted all my files. all my poems eaten alive by that machine. its harsh. i still dont know how much i want other people to read... scary... and i havent taken the time to figure out all the stuff on this site, i'm lazy all i want to do is write. i'm almost out of school. GA is coming up i'm scared of seeing toby because he might be mad at me and i really dont want him to be mad at me, i value his friendship so highly. i feel like an asshole. yet i look forward to GA nonetheless. my prom is tonight. my mom bribed me into shaving my pits. she bought the dress. i love her i want to make her happy, but some things dont need to be shaved, and SOME THINGS NEED TO BE PIERCED. the end. much love. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: george crumb (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 6th, 2001
10:58 pm	hmmmmmm i rule the world. so today was alright i had an idiotic rehearsal. i'm the accompanist so i get treated like crap a lot. tomorrows west side story rehearsals, those are much more enjoyable. i have too much to do and so much of it involves music. i'm not ready at all for shows coming up. i'm kind of in a bad mood because i had a weezer ticket and because i'm still under parental control i'm not allowed to go to the show. that totally sucks. i'm still getting used to writing online. its weird as hell. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: bjork (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 4th, 2001
1:15 am	yummy me and my significant other made dinner. couscous with fresh mozzarella and basil and tomatoes. and avacado-tomato cold soup. it ruled my world. the evening was super good, aside from me eating way too much and getting random cramps. i went record shopping and found nothing at all. Current Mood: full Current Music: charles bronson (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 3rd, 2001
1:34 pm	i rule i have too many social obligations today, i do not know how to manage my own life! but...i am cleaning my room and i found A) some money B) old love letters C) my favorite t-shirt overall a good haul i'd say. i dont have too much to write about, i dont know how much of my life i want to share with the entire online world. i'm going record shopping today, i'm on a hunt for more fugazi, ideally a better album than the one i bought last time. my friends do too many drugs. Current Mood: predatory Current Music: buena vista social club (thanks mom) (Comment on this)